The Celebrity Experience (all picture collages by Myles Matisse) Last Updated: January 03, 2007
This experience focuses on the many celebrity types I've met, seen or had an encounter with while in Hollywood as well as the many unforgettable corporate experiences I've had here in La-La-Land that remain very surreal to me. I've had moments of incredible luck and opportunity mixed with incredibly idiotic missteps on my part. I've learned from them ALL and become a more complete and mature individual! Before you read on, there is an important topic that I have to address and that is the increasing downward spiral in which the Cable TV channel known as "E!" is undertaking. With their show "Celebrities Uncensored" (and other similar shows), they are descending to pathetic and dangerous depths. Shame on the powers that be/executives over at E! for being very low brow in their programming.
Celebrities had it bad enough before shows like 'Celebrities Uncensored' came into being. Now, that the show is in full bloom, I feel even more for celebrities. Famous people had a difficult enough time befpre the show to have some normalcy in their lives. E!'s "SHAMELESS" (listen to Pet Shop Boys song of the same name to get an idea of what E! has become!) attempt to get ratings at any cost is setting an extremely dangerous precedent for the future. I really feel that more and more freaks, losers and otherwise hopeless money, notoriety and fame seekers will arm themselves with a camera and head to the "Sunset Strip" to try and hunt down celebrities in true stalker fashion. If we're not careful, things could get even more out of control than they already are. Check out what actor and major star Jim Carrey had to say about E!, paparazzi and the disgust of it all: PLAYBOY: How do you feel when you see an E! show consisting totally of people like yourself being stalked by the paparazzi? CARREY: Unacceptable. Way over the edge, man. That channel is now eating its young. PLAYBOY: What do you say when they ask for an interview? CARREY: I don't do it. PLAYBOY: What about the argument that it's the price of being rich and famous? CARREY: I don't think that argument holds water. We should respect the people who entertain us and make us feel good--unless I'm acting like an idiot, which I'm not. I know they justify it in their heads, but it can't make them feel good. Unless they're drunk or stoned and completely fogging over their feelings, I know that in their private moments, when they're lying in bed staring at the ceiling, they can't feel good about it. Taking is taking and giving is giving. Period. There will be a reckoning in their lives. PLAYBOY: Do you understand the appeal of E! and other celebrity coverage? CARREY: I'm not completely innocent here. I've indulged in it too. I watch those shows sometimes, but I know it's a disease. It's leading us down the wrong road, man. YES! It's about time a major celebrity in a major publication stands up for what's right. That's what I'm talkin' about!! And as for the "Paparazzi" guy featured in all of E!'s "Celebrities Uncensored" episodes (Mr. Woody), E! is making him a "celebrity".
Autographs by Lisa Loeb & Dweezil Zappa One night while watching the "train wreck" show on E!, my roommate made the comment that if he were one of the celebrities "caught" on the show, he'd boycott E! I can't help but side with him. E! is dead wrong and shame on them for taking the easy (sleazy) road to ratings! They may as well change their name to 'The National Enquirer Network'. One last comment about Mr. Woody, his completely unprofessional, unforgivable, idiotic and stalker behavior towards celebrities came to a head with Tommy Lee and Pamela Lee as they left The Viper Room. His actions were criminal, disgusting and demonstrated how insensitive he is and all to make a buck! Mr. Woody and other "stalkerazzis" were waiting like vultures outside The Viper Room, salivating for any celebrity crumb one night. When Tommy and Pamela exited the club, one "stalkerazzi" got in Tommy's way so agressively that Tommy lost his temper and threw the loser out of his and more importantly, his wife Pamela's way. Sure, the "stalkerazzi" landed on the ground with a thud but after viewing the footage many times, I've come to realize that the only thing hurt was his pride. He only faked things to make Tommy look like the bad guy. Shame on that "stalkerazzi" and the Mr. Woody for stalking outside of The Viper Room.
At the Viper Room that night, Mr. Woody not only got involved by pepper spraying Pamela Lee but videod the entire event, including Pamela's anger and rage. He added fuel to the fire by yelling back at her and bringing up her baby with, "Where's Your Baby?" This only enraged Pamela to the point that she verbally let loose on him. And, to think that E! Entertainment is showing their support of Mr. Woody and other "stalkerazzi"! E!'s support can potentially put the future safety of celebrities in jeapordy. And, with their dangerous programming, it's painfully obvious where E!'s morality lies...in the gutter. All for ratings and money. It's sad.
Getting back to the Pamela incident, who does Mr. Woody think he is to bring up her children?? It was an obvious and immature attempt to create a rise out of her. To anyone who knows anything about Pamela, her children are the most important people in her life. For Mr. Woody to even bring them up demonstrates how dangerous his type is when it pertains to the safety of celebrities. Doesn't he realize that even celebrities get baby-sitters to watch their children while they go out?? What makes Pamela and Tommy Lee any different from "Dick and Jane" in suburbia? They need and deserve a night out together too. Message to Mr. Woody: "It's called a Baby-sitter!. How dare you bring up and exploit personal issues like a celebrity's children in order to enrage them. It only further proves the fact that you are the danger and the stalker in this situation. Find a moral, proper, respectful, and decent way to make a living! Just because you see celebrities like the ones below doesn't give you, me or anybody else the right to invade their privacy." Saying "Hello" and small talk is one thing. Pictures and autographs are quite another and to me, when it comes down to it, none of us really need the picture and autograph. If you love them that much, go to your local video store and rent their movies. They've got enough on their plate without getting their social life robbed by overzealous fans and insensitive/greedy paparazzi! The "experiences" within this page have taught me sssooo much about the ins, outs, dos and dont's in Hollywood and even though some were disappointing, I take the blame and realize where I was at fault. I also realize in this town, there's many folks (near the bottom) that will do their best to bring you down, especially if, like me, you bring your ALL to the job at hand. It's all about politics, but that's everywhere in life. There's many an insecure individual out there and at times, it's been challenging for a secure individual such as myself to dance around their dysfunction. I'm getting much better though while retaining all of my self-confidence. Life's a journey and out here in Tinseltown, every day is like a movie. The best, most promising thing is, you CAN write your own script...your own life. Never let anyone tell you otherwise!
The following Hollywood experiences happened between 1995 - 1997 and taught me a great deal about how to behave in life, the workplace and Tinseltown. Many lessons were learned and I became a man in a very short time. I went through more "drama" in those first two years in Hollywood than any screenwriter could ever dream up. While many would hide any negative experiences for fear of looking bad, I've chosen to shine a light on my FIRST (and only negative) experiences for all to see so that others might learn from my mistakes as I did. The following is all true and part of MY "True Hollywood Story". The McConaughey Experience Sometime in 1997. While I was working as a casting assistant on the movie, 'Contact' starring Jodie Foster and Matthew McConaughey, I got to meet Matthew. It wasn't your average introduction. While at lunch in the on-set cafeteria, I sat with all the casting people, including the casting director and Matthew McConaughey. The CD and Matthew were talking up a storm, telling jokes, etc,. At the end of lunch as Matthew took his tray up, I leaned to the casting director and told her a joke I had heard earlier in the week. She immediately called Matthew back over and introduced us and told him I had a joke to tell, that it wouldn't sound the same coming from her. Matthew (to me): "Okay. Let's hear it." Myles: "What does a man with a 12" penis have for breakfast?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Myles: "Well, this morning I had bacon, eggs, toast and juice." Matthew laughed and returned with a joke of his own. Matthew: "I've got one for ya." Myles: "Okay." Matthew: What has two thumbs and loves to eat p***y?" Myles: "I don't know, what?" At that point, Matthew lifted his two thumbs up and pointed them at himself. Everyone (including me) laughed. Matthew just smiled, bid farewell and walked back to the set.
Sometime between 1995 - 1996. This experience begs mentioning due to my tenacity and utter will to buck the system. While living in Hollywood, I listened to the Howard Stern show from time to time, either on the way to a job or at home. Through listening, I found out that his show was coming to Los Angeles for a live broadcast. The place was going to be an up scale restaurant owned by Jack Nicholson on Beverly Blvd. called 'The Monkey Bar'. After finding out the date, I called up the restaurant and made two reservations for dinner. Now, mind you, the time for the Howard Stern broadcast was set for 3am (6am New York time), but I set the reservations for 10pm. I had no idea what to expect other than the fact that I had to work the next morning at 9am at Warner Bros. Studios (I was a temp runner on the Burbank lot). I went to 'Monkey Bar' with a friend (Dane) and we had a great dinner. The restaurant and food were impeccable. There was no indication that a live broadcast was coming. We had a steak dinner with a bottle of wine. The service was good and the atmosphere was alive with energy. Around 1am, while we were eating dessert, our waiter came up and informed us that we would have to leave within the next 30 minutes so that they could get ready and prepare for the Howard Stern Show. We were polite and agreed. After the waiter left, I realized that my chances of seeing the show weren't very good. I was disappointed that after spending a good deal of money on food and drink that we would be forced to leave but what could we do? As the minutes ticked by, I realized that all wasn't lost and I let Dane in on my plan: "When we leave, we'll go into the restroom and wait things out." It was then that Dane let me know that he would rather go home. He had to be at work in the morning and it just wasn't worth it to him. After we paid for our check, I headed for the restroom and he headed out the front door. In the restroom, there was a window which faced the front sidewalk and street of the restaurant. I could see Dane and I called him to the window. He let me know that they locked the front door to the place, that there was a long line out front and "good luck". Why did I want to do this? Mainly, to see if I could and also in silent protest to the fact that they wouldn't let us stay? What harm could it do for a couple of extra people/fans to be allowed to stay in the large room? I wanted to test the limits to see if there was a way around things. So, for the next ONE HOUR, I either stood at the urinal "taking a leak" or at the sink "washing my hands". The restroom had many visitors, but all of them thought I was new to the restroom and didn't realize I was passing the time, waiting. While washing up, 'Puck' from the Real World on MTV came in. While using the restroom, he made a couple of comments in his usual cocky (no pun intended) manner and left. I continued to wash my hands and look busy. At around 2:45am, I dried my hands (for the final time) and went back out into the restaurant to find a long table set up with Howard Stern, Jackie Martling, Robin Quivers, Fred Norris and Scott 'The Engineer' Salem sitting in a row, ready to do the broadcast. Also along for the ride were Gary "Ba Ba Booey" Dell'Abate (the show's Producer), Ralph Cirella (Howard's hairdresser, among other things). The celebs in the crowd included Julian Lennon, Roseanne and Tom Arnold, and others. It was a rush being in such an energized room actually watching a live radio broadcast of the 'Howard Stern Show'. I learned alot just watching the show, how Howard worked his guests (Roseanne, among others) and how the crowd reacted to it all. I gained alot of insight in the logistics of a show of Stern's magnitude and how they pulled it off in a small "chic chic" restaurant in Los Angeles. The 'Monkey Bar' staff provided free coffee and donuts and the morning was full of fun, laughter and overall hijinks courtesy of Howard Stern and Company. I hung to the back of the room during the show and made myself scarce. The cool thing about it all was at no time did anyone question me about my credentials or what not. It was like I belonged there. I guess the saying is true, "If you act like you belong there, no one will question you." I stayed until around 7am at which time security let me out the front door where I caught a cab and drove off into the dawn to get ready for work.
The Goldblum Experience Sometime in 1996. Jeff Goldblum was someone I got to know in 1996 during the time I was working for AMPAS. He was one of my main acting teachers at Playhouse West, an Acting School and Repertory Theater in North Hollywood. He turned out to be just as charming and endearing as he appears in film. An extremely down to earth guy with none of the star attitude/ego that one might expect. Through word of mouth, I had heard that Jeff Goldblum taught acting and I found out what and where through an ad in 'Backstage West', an essential newspaper for actors and entertainment types. The ad was for Playhouse West, a Sanford Meisner acting technique based school/theater headed by Robert Carnegie and Jeff Goldblum. To be honest, the selling point of the school for me was Jeff Goldblum. After studying with lesser known actors/teachers, I wanted to learn from someone with a thriving acting career. Also, my sister Kathy always said that Jeff Goldblum reminded her of me. How cool would it be for me to actually study under him. I called for an appointment, went for a short interview and got to sit in on one of the classes. Unfortunately (or fortunately), they wouldn't allow new people to sit in on Jeff Goldblum's classes due to the fact that some would only be fans wanting to get close to him. I understood that completely. I got to sit in on Robert Carnegie's class. Technically, he IS Playhouse West since he started the place himself along with Jeff Goldblum. The class was around 15 people sitting sporadically in four rows of seats which all faced the "stage area". The entire building consists of a large room renovated from a business space into a makeshift theater. From the outside, it's a nondescript part of a strip of businesses. It wasn't as grandiose as I thought it would be. I found Robert Carnegie to be nice enough but he had an air about him that spoke of royalty. Very formal and professional. You could tell by the way he carried himself that he thought he was THE teacher to know. Maybe it was true but at this stage of the game, I had yet to find out. I found the whole "Meisner" technique to be quite strange. Two students in front of the class were given the exercise of repetition. "You have a red shirt on" followed by "You have a red shirt on" by the other person. That was said back and forth a series of times until it graduated to "You have a red shirt on" followed by the other person saying, "Yes, I have a red shirt on". More exercises followed where the repeated other things about each other's clothing, etc,. I found it an intriguing process. Not necessarily a good one, but intriguing none the less I ended up joining that day and began coming to class twice a week, one day with Robert Carnegie and a class of 15 or so and the other day with Jeff Goldblum and a class of 15 or so. One of the most interesting thing about it all is that people were always nervous before Mr. Carnegie's class due to him being so stern and formal while everyone always looked forward to Jeff Goldblum's class because Jeff was always laid back, friendly, happy and relaxed. Take the 'Meisner' approach away and Jeff was one of the best teachers I've ever had.
The Academy Experience Sometime between 1995 - 1996.
The above was my pass not only to the 68th Annual Academy Awards, but it also allowed me access to backstage during rehearsals. I got this opportunity because at that time, I was an employee with The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences on Wilshire Blvd. in Beverly Hills. My position was as a parking garage attendant. I beat out a guy with a Law Degree to get the job. In Hollywood, it's all about getting your foot in the door and this was a good opportunity. It was at this event that I met many people and even got to chat with Sandra Bullock (backstage at rehearsals, we talked about how cool it was to actually be at the Oscars. |
